The night before the workshop, I said I wasn't going to come. I was so hurt and disconnected from my husband for so long that I thought there was no hope. For some reason I decided to come. Never in my life have I felt more open, vulnerable and connected with anyone. The attachment model is so on target. My husband has never opened up or been vulnerable with me before this weekend. Today he looked me in my eyes, revealed his fears, and asked me to keep fighting. He also stopped and heard me truly. I know we have uncertainties to work through but I have intense hope that we can grow and overcome these obstacles now that we know how to stop the insanity and work together in a deep and connected way. Thank you.
The experience of the workshop has been on eye-opening one and I'm truly grateful that we came to this point at an earlier stage in our marriage and establishment of our family. I've gained a new confidence in myself and the bond with my wife this weekend and am able to take these new found tools with me to continue to strengthen our relationship. I was so unsure of my connection with my wife and truly crippled by my own insecurities before going through the workshop that I would have continued down the same hopeless path. Thank you so much for the gift you've given us and the breath of fresh air that I now feel like I have. I will never forget this experience and it's been one of the most meaningful experiences of my relationship with my wife, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Wow! is all I can say. There are no coincidences so it is not by chance that my husband and I ended up spending the weekend with you. Thank you, thank you, thank you! We are so grateful to have the tools we now have to help us on the wonderful journey of our marriage. We felt our scenario was a bit different than many others in our group, but had many similar struggles none the less. The entire workshop from start to finish was relevant, engaging and informational. The two of you together are like a well oiled machine. Your level of expertise and ease at which you presented very delicate topics put everyone at ease. The videos were all very touching and the sense of safety you created for all in the room was truly what allowed us to open up so freely. We are so ready and willing to move on and create a loving, happy and successful life together for us and our blended family. I feel so light and free right now thanks to your leadership and guidance. Many blessings to you both.
Thank you so much for this experience. Thank you for creating a safe environment for me and my wife to share our deepest emotions. While at times raw and deep, the exercises and conversations you helped facilitate will surely help us in growing a deeper and richer bond in our marriage. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.
I feel like this weekend has changed my life! I felt like our relationship would never be okay, but you have given me hope. We now have tools and I feel we will be okay. It will be hard work but it is worth it. The both of you are exceptional facilitators. You know so much about the topic and leave no stone unturned. Please continue your great work! Thanks again.
I just want to say that this has been the nicest experience my wife and I have had in the entire 15 years that her and I have had as a couple. For that, I can't thank you enough!
I am so happy that my wife and I attended the HMT workshop. I have never been to any group environment before like this. The program really made me delve deeply into our relationship and myself. It brought out some inner feelings that have been buried forever while providing the tools to learn how to begin to communicate them with my wife. You both were great presenters of the program and it was evident that you both have a passion and knowledge of it. Because of this, I think that it was very effective. I really believe that we are in a much better place leaving than when we arrived. Now we need to continue into our daily lives with what we've learned. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
This workshop experience has been one of the most profound experiences of our marriage. Although my husband and I communicate often, we can now identify our demon dialogue and we hope to have countless successes stopping it in its tracks. We've learned that we are not one another's enemies. Moreover, the "forgiving injuries" portion provided us with essential tools for moving on after hurts occur in our marriage. The activities and models (via video) helped us view our own relationship with a new lens. I've learned the rationale to many of my behaviors. I have the utmost confidence that your delivery, presentation and tools will strengthen our marriage. Best regards.
I am so grateful for this workshop. Before coming here this weekend I was feeling like my relationship was entering a hopeless place. With both of your help, I was able to understand my husband more than I have ever before, along with understanding some things that I hadn't realized about myself. I was able to open up about things I feel inside that I had pushed back because of that hopeless feeling and was also able to see things about my husband's feelings in a new light and realize that a lot of our fears were very much alike. I realized his pain was as great as mine. You have given us a fresh start and for that I am so incredibly grateful! Thank you both so much. I think this workshop is the best thing that could have happened to us.
I must admit that I was skeptical coming to your workshop. Having witnessed my parents attend a "Marriage Encounter" weekend back in the 80's that didn't go so well, I had a lot of fear that this weekend would make things worse. Not so!. I am so grateful for the closeness my husband and I have been able to achieve. The exercises were orchestrated in a way that allowed us to establish a deep level of trust that was necessary to break through fears that we've secretly been dealing with for decades. I have a certain amount of regret that we've wasted so much time. But I am so happy to be leaving here today in a place in our relationship that is both vulnerable and strong. You have helped us by giving us tools to move past hurt, fear, anger and shame. Thank you.
Thank you for bringing my wife and I closer. We are currently in separation and were moving towards a divorce. This workshop was incredibly helpful in understanding one another and listening to each other. I hope more couples take the chance to come and experience how fulfilling it really is.
Thank you for this opportunity! Opportunity to look at my marriage, revisit my fears in a safe place, and learn to share them with the man that holds my heart. Thank you for providing a secure place where my husband and I could learn how to communicate... and most of all, that we are not broken because of each other and unfixable. Instead, it is not our fault, and together we can have what we both want, a connection, through better communication and identifying the dance. This weekend has allowed me to see my husband more as a man with feelings and the importance of talking about our feelings in a safe way. I didn't realize what part I played until this weekend and I really appreciate that. Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the opportunity to offer this workshop experience - it truly has been wonderful. I needed to really become focused on how important this relationship process is in my life - to cherish and honor what a great fortune and gift I have in my relationship with my wife. I have renewed hope and optimism for life! Thank you for your service, thank you for your expertise and professionalism. I would highly recommend this workshop to any couple at any stage in their relationship.
Thank you for holding this workshop. It has been a great experience. Not always easy, but full of good and practical advice. I don't know how often I've thought how helpful the presentations and discussions were. You've opened my eyes many times. I feel we are much better prepared to address the challenges we may face. Thank you both.
I was apprehensive before arriving at the workshop not knowing what to expect. You both did a great job of relieving the apprehension with your approach to things. I learned a lot from the experience and it felt good to know we're not the only ones going through the challenges. The material struck multiple chords within me and made me realize several of the pitfalls we fall into. You guys gave me insights and triggers for me to recognize in our relationship to help avoid falling into some traps we tend to fall into. I would highly recommend this workshop, with you guys particularly, to anyone.
This workshop was so far beyond what I was expecting. Part of me was hesitant and nervous that it might now have the benefit I hoped for. I was so wrong. You both took deeply hard topics and discussions and guided us with ease and grace to where we needed to go. Without pushing, you directed us to places that we needed to go. Finally, you helped us find the tools we needed, without giving them to us. And you let us know to expect struggles as part of the process, so long as we keep trying. Thank you both for everything.
Thank you for sharing your time and knowledge with my husband and me and the rest of the group. It was a very emotional experience to be a part of - and I even got so much out of watching other couples have breakthroughs here this weekend. I am feeling raw from all we discussed, but its a good raw. Forcing me to bring issues to the surface even though it is much safer to keep them stuffed away. I leave knowing my husband loves me very much, that we still have a lot to work on, but also that we have come a long way! Hopefully when we walk through our "thorn bush" we will start to stop before we get stuck in it. And maybe eventually we will cut that "thorn bush" down. Many thanks.
This experience has been terrific. At first I was reluctant to attend, concerned that if we went off the rails would there be someone there to keep us on track without hurting each other more. But you both satisfied that concern with your attention to detail. I hope, hope, hope that we can continue to reach each other's deepest emotional vulnerabilities and provide a safe place to share our real feelings and needs. I know each of us will benefit from it.
This session meant and impacted us so much and hit home more than ever - the do's and don'ts - staying away from the demon dialogues. I truly loved and appreciated the safe and secure environment that was created through this workshop which allowed us to explore our relationship without falling into any dangerous pitfalls we so often find ourselves in. We came close but managed to come back and regroup. I just hope and pray we can take these tools and lessons and create a safe place ourselves when in the face of adversity. It feels like we may be able to help ourselves to create a safer and more loving relationship because of the workshop awareness. At the very least avoid the triggers that create the demon dialogues. Thank you.
Thank you so much for guiding us in the right direction to help us take the step towards each other rather than our usual pushing away. It will be hard but there were many points that you brought up that helped me to realize my part of the dance where I need to learn to acknowledge and accept my husband's step towards me and to take it in. You did this by really making this workshop informational as well as funny at times even though its such an emotional and exhausting journey. Thank you so much for your support!
I love my husband deeply and feel blessed, but have had a place of "missing" something. Being taught and then invited to experience what was learned opened up a piece to our relationship that is so valuable. I have unfairly accused my husband of being shut down emotionally, when in reality water seeks its own level. Debi gave me courageous feedback about my own disconnected process so I could then slow down and be more available. Both of you do a good clear job of explaining the Hold Me Tight process. You both exude a respect for the model and a playful appreciation for one another. This has been a great opportunity for strengthening our loving connection. Oh if others would be able and willing to partake it would make a huge difference in their marriage.
Wow. It is really hard to put into words the gift you have given to my marriage. I am exhausted, but in a good way. My husband and I love each other and have always known it, but that's it - we forgot how to feel it. You gave me the space to go to that vulnerable, insecure place with my husband, where I am afraid of rejection, being laughed at, being unlovable - You helped me feel safe enough to show him these fears, and more than that, you helped him to be there for me, and to open up to me, so I could be there for him. The gift you have given us is the best - invaluable gift - that keeps on giving - LOVE - a deeper love and connection. Debi & Alan - the human beings that you are, the accepting, generous, open human being that you are, is a gift for anyone who knows you. I feel so lucky to have met you - my life changed. I truly feel the next 30 years of my life are going to be the best. Thank you!
Wow. Thank you so much for your time, your effort, your passion, and most of all, your authenticity and vulnerability in running this workshop. What a special two days - time carved out of a chaos filled life - it was an amazing gift to be here and focus on our marriage. You both have a fabulous and warm partnership that compliments and balances each other and gives a rich, rounded touch to the HMT curriculum. Thank you so much!!!
Thank you so much for this HMT weekend. It definitely surpassed by hopes and expectations. It took me one year to convince my husband to come with me and we both arrived on Friday slightly anxious about what would happen. We really learned a lot. I was afraid we would not put our defenses down, but we did. Alan really helped my husband get to a new place of vulnerability on Saturday, and it was so connecting and moving for me to watch him allow himself to go there - that is a moment I will treasure and take with me. It was hard to get vulnerable during some of our private conversations, but regardless the conversations were still meaningful and helped move us to a new connected place. Thank you so much!!
Thank you for creating the space for us, safe and inspiring, for us to engage in meaningful conversations, difficult as they may be. Your setup - short presentations, followed by short and structured conversations in couples "private bubbles" - was quite effective - a loud crescendo - a gentle descent into deeper places. Your styles complemented each other's - your personal examples, from your lives and clinical experiences, were helpful for sure. The video clips and musical interludes were both moving and helped open up our hearts and understanding. Thank you much.
The workshop was a positive experience, I learned some things about myself that will help me be in touch with my feelings. It is hard to put aside what your brain is telling you and think with your heart. It made me realize how your growing up experiences are still with you and you bring them to your relationship. I hope I can use some things I've learned to keep improving our relationship. I was skeptical about this workshop - tried to read the book - wasn't too interested. But I found that seeing other husbands dealing with similar issues was helpful. Thank you both for caring enough to share your own feelings and presenting an interesting program.
Thanks for all your assistance during this workshop. I felt really held by the both of you when we had the opportunity to work together. You provided various ways to get the message accross - through videos, role plays and open discussions. I just want to let you know how much I really appreciate that the combination of the two of you provided just the right amount of passion and calmness that we needed to go through this challenging material. Thank you!
Thank you both for spending some individual time with us as a couple during the workshop. I really appreciated Alan suggesting that I take and celebrate the moments of connection and vulnerability that my husband and I could share, rather then pursuing ruthlessly for more and staying/hiding behind my own protective walls. I enjoyed the pretty, sweet and loving music used during the workshop. I have been grateful for the opportunity we've had to learn more about our relationship and how to create our own special connection! Thank you always!
This workshop did not meet up to my expectations at all - not in the least. Here is the list: I did not feel humiliated nor was I clear about my multiple failures as a husband and human being. I did not feel tricked into sharing my guts with my wife in a way that I would rather have poked a sharp stick into my eye. The conversations with my wife did not lead to my head and heart exploding in stress and shame. I did not fall asleep at any time, or ever become bored to tears. I did not leave at odds or shamed to my wife - we left closer and loving more. I'm not hoping that this experience will quietly fade and be forgotten. I can't go home and say "that was stupid so lets just forget it and get back to our regular normal lives". Now I am compelled to actually use what we learned here at home for at least a week or two.
Thank you so much for this awesome workshop. The two of you are what made this workshop great and the material come alive. I am a heady, analytic man who typically only shows my wife vulnerability I have already figured out, that I feel safe sharing. You, and the material, and the workshop format helped me to crack my shell and show my wife vulnerabilities that I felt truly fearful about. showing her - and she didn't run away. I can't believe it! And I was also able to listen to my wife, have my reactions kick up and not run away. I was able to stay, listen to her, Whether the situation is right or wrong, her feelings are her facts. I respect that and am here for the long haul. Thank you , thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much for presenting this class and material. The viewpoint and additional insights that you both provided were invaluable. The Hold Me Tight Workshop could be the beginning of saving our marriage. The tools and ability to say how we really feel and get past our immediate defensive reaction and endless circle of trying to/wanting to improve the marriage but presenting it the wrong way or have it perceived the wrong way can be broken. Next step marriage counseling and hopefully a much better and stronger marriage in the future.
Thank you for a great couple of days. The workshop helped create a foundation and structure for difficult but important conversations. There was just the right amount of formal presentation and time for individual/partner time. Good handout materials and powerpoint presentation, and the songs and clips were perfect to help evolve and compliment the emotions and conversations. Thank you again for a very meaningful 2 days.
Thank you for putting together such a compelling, well facilitated two days. The rhythym and tone you set were excellent and the mix of provocative clips, whole group discussions, and dyad work was a nice set of complimentary experiences. We've been working with several marriage counselors over the course of our marriage and this is the first time we've interacted with the EFT framework. We found this framework to be particularly helpful, more than any other tools we've used. Thanks again; you are all pro's.
This program has given me so much insight into meeting my partner's needs, wants, desires. Even more, I have learned so much about myself and my contribuations and shortcomings to my relationship. Being able to see from both sides has given us a great foundation to move forward from, to learn from, and to love from.
I want to thank both of you for the wonderful experience of your workshop. It opened my eyes to many things and I learned so much not only about my partner, but also about myself. Listening to others and your teachings I learned that my feelings and reactions are normal and ther are others just like me. You gave me the tools to be able to handle those tough situations and conversations in my relationship. You've opened my eyes to see that things can be better and we have the ability to change it. Our love for one another was never in question. It was always our ability to understand our differences and needs and learn how to deal with that. I plan to apply what I've learned to take our relationship to where it needs to be.
My hope for this workshop was that it would be the thing that I needed to ultimately make some tugh decisions about my marriage. I was nervous and exhausted just thinking about the work we were going to do. What I found instead is that the days flew and the emotional connection we were able to achieve was beyond my expectations. Unlike our therapy sessions at times we were able to avoid our dance off almost entirely and develop a new level of comapssion and respect for each other's thoughts and emotions. Thank you for your honesty and leadership through one of the most important times in our marriage. I feel more confident than ever that we are armed with all the tools we need in our toolbox to make it through our storms. Many thanks.
I was deeply touched by both of you. Thank you for sharing so personally with us. I appreciate that the group was small and intimate. The videos and choice of music was wonderful also. Most powerful were the examples of the babies/children. So pure, so real, so beautiful. I was surprised how deeply we delved, but thanks to Alan for his help with that. The breakout sessions, and breaks, all good. Thank you. A heartfelt thank you.
Thank you. This workshop came at a perfect time. I feel like this workshop brought so much together for us and catapulted us to the next level, a good level. I think this has brought us closer together as a couple and in our relatinships, even though personally we may not be at the same place emotionally or vulnerably. As I said out loud to the group, having the time and space over the two days allowed me - I think both of us - to be more vulnerable and take more risks - than we can in 1-hour sessions a few times a month. This workshop has catapulted us to another level. Thank you.
Wow! I can't believe how far my wife and I progressed in only 2 days. Our therapist said we would find it very helpful, but I never expected it to do so much for us, especially for me. I finally realized what I was doing wrong and how it affected my wife. All of the down stream issues came back to me withdrawing and closing off our emotional bond. How powerful to realize that and express it to her and to tell her how I really feel!! I'm looking forward to the future and no longer afraid we will fail Thank you so much!
Thank you for a remarkable workshop. You are both such masters as teachers, therapists, and workshop leaders. I find it exciting and comforting that so much can be learned at an emotional level in just a weekend. It brought my husband and I much closer and I learned a lot about love and communication as well. I have been practicing as a psychologist for 30 years, and still... you taught me so much about relationships, myself, and love.
Your workshop was excellent in showing the most important thing is life is our relationships and how to become better at them. It's helped me to see the areas I need to take responsibility for and how to improve the way I relate to significant people in my life. This needs to be implemented in our school systems to heop us develop a healthy sense of self before attempting to be there for someone else in a healthy relationship. I have many take aways which I intend to use in all my relationships, especially with my significant other. Thank you so much.
Thank you both for your compassion and desire to help couples achieve their desires to have deeper, more loving and understanding relationships. You are both obviously very committed and I appreciate your wisdom, your efforts, and your time. It may sound corny or cliche, but love is the most important thing we can give to others. The love that we give in our lifetimes is a true measure of the worth and the impact we have in the world. So, it is not exaggeration that the work you do makes the world a better place.
The experience was very intimate. It allowed me to connect with my wife on a much higher level and become more empathetic to her needs and desires. Additionally, my wife and I opened up with each other and easily shared our inner feelings. Thank you for your effort, time and knowledge of marital connections.
Thanks for a great workshop! I was surprised at how much my husband and I learned about each other. I think this is what we needed to reconnect after my treatment for depression. Some of the resentment I felt towards him is out in the open and I know I have his support now. Thank you.
I want to thank you both for providing my wife and I a chance and vehicle to reconnect. The materials you provided allowed me to shed my armor of pride and be introspective. That is something I needed to do. The exercises were great! They were perfect for drawing out the issues that needed to be resolved. This workshop laid the groundwork for our ability to regain what was lost in our relationship. I believe part of what assisted me was being in a room with others that had similar issues as us. I am so looking forward to loving my wife with confidence and more importantly being loved.
Out of sheer desperation and no other avenue open to me, I googled "marriage retreats" and came across your website. My husband, of course, was not very keen on what he perceived as only a "2-day band aid", but thankfully he agreed to attend. I cannot express to you enough how powerful this weekend has been and how I feel I've been given a new husband, one that I understand better and who now understands me better! Thank you a thousand times for the great workshops!
I want to thank you for an enjoyable workshop. I must admit that I learned more in the two days I spent with you than I did in a year of therapy. From the bottom of my heart, thank you! I have the tools and promise to use them. I got my baby back and that's all that matters. Thanks.
I am so glad we had this opportunity to begin to close the gap in my marriage. This has been a very powerful, moving and eye opening experience. This weekend workshop you presented was really what we needed and you both presented it in a great, warm, informative manner. Too many great things to say about this weekend! Thank you.
Thank you so much for this opportunity. The location and facility were excellent. It took us our of our regular environment and we could concentrate just on the workshop. We stayed over at a hotel even though we live nearby, and that added to the special experience. You both brought different perspectives to the workshop and were a good team. The role plays and videos were especially helpful and emotional. Thank you for the experience.
Thank you both for this invaluable weekend. This was a safe place to talk, listen and learn from you both about effective ways to communicate with each other, how to create an environment where my husband could come forward and say the things he needs to say, and I would know how to respond to keep communication open. It was enlightening to see other couples at various stages in their relationships and relate to their stories. This was a great experience.
Thank you so much for your wonderful workshop. What you are doing for couples is just amazing. It was such a gift for my husband and I. We really needed to learn how to communicate better and you gave us great tools to practice. My husband touched me just by agreeing to come, and then opening up to me while we were here. This was major for our marriage.
Thank you so much for offering this opportunity. We have so much good that comes naturally to us in our relationship but when our Demon Dialogue sneaks up on us quickly and out of nowhere, we are a disaster. Thank you for your expertise, insight, vulnerability, sense of humor, patience and care. We loved the entire workshop, including all of the visuals and music. Much success to the two of you.
Thanks so much for this workshop. I enjoyed so many parts but the one part I needed and will continue to work on is Slowing the Cycle, recognizing Demon Dialogues, then slowing the dance. I realize is so much harder than it sounds, but I will forever remember this technique and work diligently to make it work for my love. As far as the other agenda items. all were helpful and enjoyable. I enjoyed the interactions between the two of you. Also, the insert of videos and choices of video were so eye opening and truly inspiring. Nice work by both of you. A big thank you.
What I most want to say is thank you! This class was meaningful, insightful and original. The impact will stay with us for a long time. Again, great thanks.
This workshop gave me some accessible tools to reinvigorate my relationship with my wife and to know that we have a purpose and a love that is worth nurturing. I am so glad to have had the group experience, to know that our struggles are not unique, that what we have is important. I also got to know that I'm important to my wife and that I have some keys to tap into our intimacy. A appreciate the commitment of you both and the facilitators. They added so much to the value of this. I appreciate your bringing this important work and these tools to us..
Thank you for the last two days. Although I had listened to the audio book, the power of the program, the sharing and the structure that you brought to the exercises gave us the tools to be closer. Thank you.
Thank you for the wonderful weekend. It was a great experience during my birthday weekend. A renewed and fundamental connection with my wife is probably the best present I could receive. While difficult, the intensive 2-day workshop was needed. I would strongly recommend that your couples stay overnight after both days of the workshop. It removed distractions and allowed us to focus on each other.
It is a very emotional subject, and it was comforting and relaxing to see Debi's obvious emotional response during her presentation. It makes it so much more heartfelt and so much less clinical. Alan's complimentary input and banter between both was very helpful and sometimes funny! I think the workshop has been a wonderful format for this - support and knowledge from other couples, knowing and proving that our issues, and ourselves, are not unique, while also allowing time alone together worked very well for us. Thanks. Great job!
Debi and Alan have given my husband and I new tools to tackle our issues and relationship sore spots. They were the perfect team to guide us gently back towards each other. We have opened back up to be more vulnerable and loving again. Being in the group and hearing all the stories helped us realize we all have similar issues and we are not alone or broken. It has been so amazing, so cathartic.
Thank you so much for this experience. The hardest part was to admit we had a problem and sign up to come. Being fairly young, I was worried we were going to feel out of place. You welcomed us right in and commended us for giving this "gift" to ourselves at such a young age. I honestly think every couple can benefit from this workshop. No matter how big or small an issue you may be facing, the tools are so universal and can be applied to so many situations. I especially loved the songs and videos. Some of these will stay with me forever. Thank you for giving us this gift - I hope other couples benefited as much as I have and will continue to do so in the future.
My wife and I are in our early thirties and only married for 3 1/2 years. So we really didn't know what to expect when we signed up for your workshop. Attending the workshop showed us both that we still have a long way to go towards being in a secure, connected relationship, but it also showed us that we are not alone and not the only couple dealing with problems and issues. We appreciate your providing us with new and useful tools to work on our relationship so that we can grow and evolve our love together for many years to come. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for an amazing and eye opening two days. The concepts of "hold me tight" you presented to my wife and I have allowed me to take a breath and step back from our relationship to gain a much needed perspective. I feel like you both have helped me remember the reason why I fell in love with my wife over 20 years ago. The exercises you gave us seemed so simple and yet had such a profound effect by slowing everything down. I love how you showed us to think of the demon dialogue as the so called enemy as opposed to one another. That to me is so important and helps me to stop pointing the finger at my wife and realize the "cycle" is the problem. This awareness I believe will help both of us to dissolve so much of the pain that has developed over the years. You have a wonderful synergy between the two of you and this has helped make the seminar have a powerful effect for me. Thanks for everything.
Thank you. Great two days. Well organized, thoughtful, understanding and easy to get. The 2 day retreat is the best to kick start this work. Keep it up. I would not have any changes to recommend - it worked fantastic. I really am looking forward to working at this for me to become a better person and more loving and caring husband. Thank you.
Well, that was something. Really the one thing I keep coming back to is how my mind would wander in the break out sessions thinking about how nice it was to just sit, in the grass, under the sun, face to face, knees to knees, hearts wide open, with my perfectly imperfect handsome husband. You walked him back to me. And for that, I thank you.
A Hold Me Tight® Workshop For all Committed Couples, Married or Unmarried
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